what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
