I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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