question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
