I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
