Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
kristin has been a bad kristin
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
