She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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