Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There are leaves in my underwear?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
