dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
