remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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