i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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