dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
