i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
im holly from the hills drunk
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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