I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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