do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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