Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
