No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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