Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
