Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
