Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
