he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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