I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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