I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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