I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
