Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
