Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He keeps bees of course he's weird
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
