"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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