Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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