Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
