This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
