Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
