If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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