What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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