I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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