Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
