Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize