when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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