i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
