just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
