I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
