I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm at about main and main street
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize