Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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