I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
