Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
