I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He passed out mid-signature
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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