I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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