he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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