just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Actions speak louder than pants.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Randomize
