hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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