Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
