omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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