so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize