I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
