She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
They have beer where we have blood.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
