Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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