Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
