I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
